Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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