Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize