There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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