can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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