He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
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If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
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And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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