I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize