Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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