Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize