Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
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