She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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