It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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