my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize