One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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