I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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