girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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