he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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