you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
there's paper in my vomit.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize