so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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