What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
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Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
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Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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