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Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
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