What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize