she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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