I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a Shit stain on my heart
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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