I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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