i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
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