After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
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He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
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Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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