We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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