drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize