i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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