Soap is not a condiment
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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