Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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