my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
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he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
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i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
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Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
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