sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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