After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Randomize