I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize