I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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