He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
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