yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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