Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
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I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
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YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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