Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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