I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
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Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
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Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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