yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
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