they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
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how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
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I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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