I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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