Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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