3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize