Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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