You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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