Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize