i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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